Monday, January 28, 2013

Bleeding Edge of Technology


I have a confession to make: As much of a technology savvy person that I am, I have an inferior Windows OS (don't get started with the "Any Microsoft product is inferior!" Linux-entitled bullshit). I have Windows 8. I know. I KNOW. I stupidly updated from Windows 7 because I thought newer is better.


I was wrong. The tiles are stupid. I want a basic desktop. That's it. I don't have a touchscreen for my computer.


That's right. It's my shame. When I walk into work I have to hide the fact that some of the servers in the back room are better than the system I am messing around with at the apartment. I know I bought and built it over a month ago with 4 cores, a roaring graphics card, and enough RAM to choke a horse. It is severely bottlenecked and therefore useless, because of how gimped Windows 8 is. Sure, it's not Windows Vista (I used to have that too), but it's... eh. Boring.


As every day passes I get closer and closer to the frightening day when I must face the truth and say to myself that my "high end" machine should have an asterisk next to it.


You see, I recently acquired a trial version of Adobe's new all-in-one Master Suite for their plethora package of stuff. However, the two biggest additions from the last version run on a system that I currently don't have. That's right, I have finally something that has a minimum requirement that I don't meet. And that minimum requirement requires me going back in time and downgrading my operating system.


For some people anything that deals with the insides of a Dell computer from the late 90s is a scary process filled with numbers, smoke, and a lot of crying. For me, working with a computer is an entertaining process filled with a lot of drivers, reboots, disks, and crying. Not only do I usually get to wipe my computer clean (meaning good bye to any junk that was hiding on there for the last two years) but it also means everything I have on there has a chance to get updated whenever I crack open its plastic shell! I spent a good portion of last night making sure I have a checklist ready to go of the programs that have to be installed back on incase my machine ever bites the dusk - and even after I took off the ones that weren't absolutely needed it still reached up to three dozen titles.


It'll be a long night once my hard drive blows up.


I'm a little nervous, I'll admit. New Operating Systems are new territories that I don't like venturing down. I am content in the unchanging nature of my systems.


I mean, Windows Vista sucks. Always had, always will. At least I got rid of that cancer pretty quickly.Right...?


If I don't come back alive whenever I decide to remove Windows 8 make sure my warranty cards are filled out. Someone can get a refund or two from the mail-in rebate (in 6-8 weeks).

Point Break Blows


I don’t like Point Break. You know – the movie. People always talk about it as being a good action film. It’s even boosted on a pedestal in Simon Pegg’s “Hot Fuzz”.

I don't get it. I really don't. Why do people like the movie? For an action movie it's OK at best but the talent completely destroys my love for it. Two of the three biggest stars are most likely jokes to the world from Hollywood. I'm convinced of it. We have Keanu Reeves who is most known for a boring bullet-dodger from "The Matrix" and a pot-smoking dropout in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". Really? Have you watched his performance in "Point Break"? It's horrible. HORRIBLE. Go ahead, go watch it right now. I know you own it. Everyone in the world except for me bought it for five bucks in the bargain bin of Wal-Mart. I'll wait.
...

Back? See?! HE IS A HORRIBLE ACTOR. The "whoa!" jokes from The Matrix are more than just a play on the stupidity of Neo as a character.

While you were at it I bet you noticed the other unfortunate half of the film: Gary Busey. As an actor he is ok I suppose. I can't really be a huge judge of character or talent because I try not to watch him. He scares me.

This is my nightmare.


You see my point. On a somewhat related point (I'm not trying to say "point" so much, it's just a coincidence) did you ever see his Comedy Central show? Holy crap was it bad. It was almost my breaking point....ha!

I'm sorry. I hate puns.

After all the overly long surfing scenes and the tragic watching of Keanu's sad excuse for acting we have the sole good part of the film: Patrick Swayze. While I'm not completely sure that he wasn't trying to seduce Mister Reeves for the entire two hours I am convinced he is a very good actor. He also can pull off a pretty good bank robbery while wearing a Richard Nixon mask. The rest of it is even more surfing, slow motion running as his hair flaps in the breeze, and screaming over the death of his fellow Nixon robber/tanned surfer.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Irrational Fears and their Ability to Keep Me Awake

Every human being is unique. This much is obvious. Duh.

We are however separated into stark different groups by the ways we react to situations and social events that are thrown at us almost every day. "Our decisions define us" as the saying goes. This can be seen in everything as high as corporate social ladder and by teeny bopper high school cliques. Who we sit with at lunch in the office, and even the clubs we gravitate towards for our night life scene shape who we interact with and ultimately spend our lives with. Every single thing we do or don't do defines and labels us to the rest of the world. This is such a subconscious and unnoticed thing that the opposite sex is attracted to a lot of the little cues and signs we exude without even realizing it. I've seen it called "swagger", "game", "class", but no matter what we name it, it is something that we do not have direct control over. Even if we are cognizant of it and do our best to shape the nonverbal communication in our favor, it is still ultimately up to fate to decide if we are successful. These facets of our personalities, who we are at their mercy of, also make us into the people our friends and loved ones enjoy. Even the way we sit in a chair during an office meeting can show a part of our professionalism, which can further reveal links about our attitude in life. Slouching back may show that we are more care free, which means we are less prone to stress and therefore handle being busy better... which could show that you can juggle more work. But it can also mean that you don't care, don't have any ambition or drive, and are just there for a paycheck. It all depends on all of the people involved in the communication.

Et cetra, et cetra.

All of this is useless though when it comes to the unnatural side of ourselves. The most charismatic and powerful person in my company could be a severely childish and insecure individual who has two overwhelming and crippling fears: 1.) public speaking and 2.) cheese. Sure, it sounds insane. It sounds crazy, and it's irrational. That's the whole point of a phobia. It doesn't make sense, it can hinder you, but you can't escape it. I've already written about the cruel nature of phobophobia in one of my past blogs (the "fear of being afraid" if you aren't aware) but I never spoke about myself. So here we go.

I have three irrational fears.

1.) The fear of falling from heights. I am not scared of heights. Don't get the two mixed up since they are in no way the same. Whenever I am on a plane I will purposefully pick the seat by the window so I can watch the take off. I had no problem staring straight down at the ground when I was on the top of the Eiffel Tower. I do not get queasy on roller coasters (I will pick the front seat so I can see the entire descent), and bridges are not a concern. No, my fear is the falling. I found this out when I was asked to walk a rope bridge when I was in elementary school. Even though I was harnessed to the trees on both ends and even though I had more safety gear on than an NFL linebacker I was frightened to the point of immobility. I would not move, and ever since then I cannot put myself in a position to fall. I bet this doesn't make sense to you. Again, that's the point. It's irrational. Some people are afraid of pickles.

The horror.


2.) The fear of speaking in front of a crowd of strangers. I relate this to my speech problem that was developed at a young age since I was never able to fully will myself to want to speak in front of the class. Even if I loved the subject I was presenting I would push off the presentation for as long as possible. A lot of this probably has to do with my speech pattern is hereditary. At least I know that both my father and grandfather have gone through the same type of torture.It used to be so bad though that, to quote Jerry Seinfeld, "I would rather be inside the coffin than delivering the eulogy."

3.) Failure/Being Alone. I equate these both together since in my mind if I am alone for the rest of my life then I have failed multiple times along the way. I know that a lot of people are perfectly fine not having a mate/soul mate/spouse, but I have been wired since childhood to believe that to be successful you have to be married, have at least one kid, and own a nice house. Granted I am not looking for a wife right now, but it's still an irrational fear of mine to the point that I really start to look back at my past relationships and try to dissect what I did wrong. It's not a healthy practice.

Male porn star kills other with "stage prop".

This is an old one, but too good to not post.

Interested yet?

I was amused before I even opened up the article.

"In the San Fernando Valley, a male porn star who faced losing his job and being evicted went on a workplace rampage last night, stabbing three coworkers, killing one. Stephen Hill, 30, of Canoga Park, who fled the scene and is still at large, was living and working at Ultima DVD Inc., a Van Nuys adult video production and distribution company. Apparently, Hill had worked for the company as a performer in adult videos and behind the scenes as a web designer. He was living in the company’s offices at the time, and he had been told to move out of the premises by that evening. The weapon was either a 'machete-type' or a Samurai sword that had been used as a movie prop. If you live in the Los Angeles area and see a man driving a blue 1996 Toyota RAV4 with right side damage and license plate 5YTC423, you may want to call the police."

Sometimes these things just write themselves.